As I checked on my emergency trousers, the realization struck me the other morning that I am not a risk taker. That I have emergency clothing in my bedroom should “the worst happen” at all is ridiculously safety conscience. They are not just another pair of reasonable trousers and a commonly worn shirt just like any other. No: invariably my emergency clothes are items which I have calculated I would not ever put on unless they were absolutely all I had to still function outside throughout the day. They are the most ill-fitting, worn out or unfashionable items I have kept especially for only the most apocalyptic eventuality. And by that I clearly mean that either a small fire in the sock drawer somehow managing to destroy all but my very least favourite socks would need to take place, or, heaven forbid, a burglar was to steal all but my tightest fitting pair of trousers. This makes no sense. I see that now. I understand what you are saying. What I need to do is have these things placed in a secure holding unit, away from the other higher risk apparel. It will virtually pay for itself. But it doesn’t stop there. When out I have an emergency handkerchief that I keep in my other pocket from the regular, in use handkerchief. Sometimes I confuse the two and it makes me angry at myself. I leave a little juice in the carton “for night time juice emergences”. I have an emergency umbrella in my work desk drawer… and also an emergency biscuit beside my emergency plastic cup from the water cooler dispenser that I keep in case the plastic cups are not replenished at the cooler for any reason. It would almost be fine if I kept this up throughout my life, but I don’t. I don’t regularly back-up information, or keep a hardcopy of names, numbers and addresses of friends. Occasionally I leave letters from my bank unopened for 3 months. I might not have a cabinet full of tined food, wind up radio and torch combo, hammer and medical kit, but I do have these old scraggy pants in the back of the drawer, y’know, just in case.
You know, it's almost tempting to try and engineer a unlikely-accident, in order to see what the resulting emergency outfit actually looks like...
ReplyDeleteIt would be as if Dr Frankenstein had gone into tailoring instead.
ReplyDelete