I am bringing it back for a last hurrah. For the fans. For the fans who thought it would never happen. For the fans to be disappointed at how old it looks, how it just isn't the same when we were young, how it seems to have been done for emotionless, financial reasons (see Twin Peaks... X-Files.... - I'm kidding, almost certainly these will be great).
Anyway, here is my very brief, undercooked, shallow and ultimately poor review of the year.
Talking of circles of diminishing returns, Band Aid coming back with their "Do They Know It's Christmas?" was odd. It was brought back for raising aid for those dealing with Ebola. I'm not sure it really worked. It has been widely mentioned outwith here the original Bono line "Tonight thank God its them instead of Youuuuuuuu!" - perhaps the most pertinent lyric in the song - was now "Tonight we're reaching out and touching you!" is terrible advice for Ebola. Let's not get into the fact it is the exact same concept: A group of pop/rock smiths who can make the short recording session turn up to record the song, each taking a turn and playing a chord or drum.
Back in 1984, the idea was exciting. The artists were a ramshackle bunch. It was a true "Super band" and some people you've never seen before. The whole thing seemingly was done cheaply, quickly and with altruistic values to sing a hastily written song. You felt label contracts and riders were thrown to one side to make it happen for one day in a cold studio.
I thought they basically did it illegally, even breaking into the vinyl pressing factory and making the singles themselves. Boy George and Paul Weller on the Quality Control conveyor belt.
By the 2014 version (was the anniversary just too good to let pass?)... well, not so much.
Can you imagine going to the Virgin Megastore and buying the next Now That's What They Call Christmas....Ever! double CD album and finding it's the ebola version of "Do They Know It's Christmas?". You'd be gutted.
And another thing, ebola had been a major story for quite a while during 2014. There was a chance to reignite the magic with a new tune. Or maybe an old tune but go all the way and re-write the lyrics.
Might I suggest Snow - Informer?
It wouldn't take much to make it work:"Ebola! Lalalah!" Plenty of lyrical opportunities to share round in this too.
In the same way, they could have brought the terrible plight of those subjected to Boko Haram with their version of Harlem Shake. Which, I should add, I absolutely did not confuse the two in a late night discussion.
Anyway, 2014 was full of sport. The World Cup! The Winter Olympics! The Commonwealth Games! The Indoor Bowls!
You know what was weird? First time Olympian 36 year old violinist Vanessa Mae competing for Thailand at the skiing and coming last. Then it turned out Thailand let Vanessa win and doctored her times and generally cheated like Dick Dastardly in Wacky Races to get her to qualify for the Olympics. That was weird. And then Vanessa Mae appealing the subsequent ban. So she can compete again. That was weird too.
But you know what it wasn't as weird as? Barry singing at the indoor bowls final.
But, the oddest thing of sport in 2014 was probably the Columbian women's cycling team's kit:
 |
| telegraph http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11096585/Colombian-women-cycling-team-kit-Vagina-like.html |
TV was pretty good in 2014. It must have been. I didn't write too many reviews on this blog. It was either that or I watched every ice bucket challenge my friends uploaded and shared and liked instead. Brooklyn nine-nine was a highlight, and Toast of London made a welcome return. There was a good documentary about the hardships of being Heidi Klum ("Heidi was getting tired of the west coast beach scene"), but I think it was a repeat. Of course, Ghost Adventures wins the award for top TV show again ("Sprit lady, if you're in this bed, touch a part of my body!"). But only because Stars In Their Eyes returned too late to be considered, in January 2015 [harry hill look to camera].
Finally, let's end where we began and remember 2014 for the year pop music showed us that it was the year where a Bladerunner future might only be 12months away:
So that's it. My thoughts on 2014 there.
*drops mic*
