I’ll be honest, I came here to blog (and shamelessly paraphrase from what could be the greatest film ever made) about Quincy M.E. episodes and ridicule my sector blogging nemesis, Car. D’gan and his goddamn Corner – and I’m all out of Quincy M.E. re-runs.
But, also, Car. D’gan hasn’t posted any recent articles. Damn you Car. D’gan, damn you to Hades, I see you have won again. But my time will come, I can wait all night.
As for Quincy M.E.? As a result of the global economic downturn my local television service, of which Quincy M.E. was once a staple provider of, seems can no longer afford any episodes. This is now reminiscent of the great Poirot drought of ‘99. I am reduced to watching Monk. Monk.
It is as if the worst of Jonathan Creek has been infused with the comfort of an Ally Mcbeal episode.
I watched an episode the other week where detective Monk, our jocular OCD prone protagonist, is being filmed by a documentary team in solving his 100th case [don’t get me started on how they are sure that this case will be solved, the bizarre cutaways to popular stars playing versions of themselves saying how much they love Monk, let alone the fact that the cameras as part of the documentary require to clumsily double for the “unseen” cameras to let the viewer see the murdered victims and drive the secondary plot “asides” which would surely have all been edited out in the final cut of the documentary] and it is only when watching the documentary back on the TV that Monk notices that something doesn’t quite fit. It is making him anxious. It is making him do hilarious slapstick things due to his profound mental illness. 3 of the victims involved the serial killer, who he caught (though only just after the Killer’s suicide), but the 4th and final murder was very marginally different, in that it was located north and each of the other murders were progressively located south. Quickly, using the taped recording of the show he solves the 4th murder. It had been conducted by none other than the documentary show’s presenter. He would have got away with it too if it hadn’t been for the fact that the camera had caught him not looking when he turned on the lights in the room where the final body lay, strongly suggesting that he had been there previous (and in no way taking account that light switches are almost always located at the side of doors) doing some murdering [Columbo, incidentally, shows how a plot device like this should be done in the episode "A Bird in the Hand..."]. Well, that and his breakdown and immediate confession in front of a house full of Monk’s police guests who were helping to celebrate his 100 solved crimes. Then the guests tell Monk that he can’t retire: he has now solved 101 crimes and everyone knows he has to stop on round numbers.
Simply ludicrous.
In any case weren’t there already 102 solved murders before the 4th victim? Is a serial killer committing one crime of many victims or multiple crimes? It’s very ZEN, that. I might use that when I am trying to get to sleep at night.
So this Blog is like a cheap re-rewrite of what it should have been. It is all T.J. Hooker and talking about things I ate in the 1980’s. It disgusts me, truth be told.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this for you and I. Our relationship was never meant to have a cult character called Lobos the Robot in it. Now look at it. Lobos is the best thing around here.
No comments:
Post a Comment