Extreme trampolines and hold-up bras

I thought I would quickly blog about the news of a trampoline park which recently opened up near Edinburgh.

10,000 square feet of trampoline lining the floor and walls. With no age restrictions 11am-9pm. What could go wrong?

Apparently, quite a bit according to this news story:

Investigation after 102 incidents at trampoline park

Broken limbs, backs and necks reported along with some allegedly lapse health and safety procedures.

The CEO of the park issued the statement:

it was "very important" to put into context they had had 25,662 jumpers over the three week period and 102 incidents in that time was only a 0.39% incident rate.

"We have never had an injury that was caused by the equipment or layout of the park... injuries come from landing awkwardly, or interacting with another jumper."

I'm no expert, but those using trampolines surely can usually only injure themselves through landing or interaction with another jumper. Or jumping really high up to a spiky ceiling or into deep space.

And so what if the park layout has funky, edgy décor, music and incentives for you to jump higher and in a range of angles? It doesn't mean one should get carried away and try a triple salchow when until 3 minutes before you thought it was a drink order.





And according to the park's own website:

A recent study of trampoline parks across the US found an injury incident rate of 0.02%

Which is lower than 0.39%

Anyway, I'm not about to start questioning the response from the CEO. Or the statistics. Or suggest 4 trampolines in a room of whitewashed breezeblock and the teenage pleasing sound of Bobby Vee on the speakers would encourage more gentile jumps.

I want to mention what surprises me in this report.

What surprises me about all this is not the injuries - no doubt a few attributable to over exuberance -  or that a wife would spend 20 minutes arguing with a school-leaver attendant to call an ambulance instead of phoning an ambulance herself after 5 minutes of arguing for her near folded husband on the trampoline. What surprises me is the number of people wanting a shot on a trampoline.

25,662 in the first 3 weeks of opening.

That's 51 people an hour, every hour of every day for 3 weeks.

That's astonishing to me. I never figured that trampolines would ever be that much of a draw. I know some will be repeat bouncers but, even so. That's a lot of people in the area who totally want to jump up and down. Often next to each other. In an unpredictable fashion. Willing to sign a liability waiver to do it. And after reading this in the Safety and Rules section of the park:

WARNING!!! Catastrophic injury, paralysis or even death may result from failing to follow the rules established by the park, some of which are set forth below and due to inherent risks, sometimes even if all rules are followed.

And still people complain when they break their neck.

Anyway as the saying goes: It's Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Next they'll be saying wearing a semi-automatic gun-holster brassier is not a good idea.

Woman shoots herself in face while adjusting bra holster

Ah.

"This technique also presents the attacker with a major distraction while allowing you to access and utilise your firearm," said Flashbang, one of the leading manufacturers of the product.

Flashbang have a point. And for the rest of the time, when you are driving, shopping for shoes and jumping on a trampoline, you have a loaded gun pointed at you.





Be safe out there. A stray shot from a bra-gun could ricochet off a trampoline and deflate a nearby bouncy castle. With you in it.

Recognising a well run bouncy castle