Sunday 19 February 2012

The show only starts when someone throws a double 6

On Friday I created my own TV channel. OK, that's not strictly true. If it was strictly true I would have watched a Quincy M.E. double bill, then a Columbo followed by Star-Trek then Star-Trek TNG before continuing with a T.J. Hooker. An X-Files from Season 1 would be on after My Girl [Zooey does make me go... erm... gooey]. Then I would recommission Perfect Couples and watch the 2nd season of that before I would put on some arts review show as I get ready for bed all the while wondering if classic Bullseye was on another channel. But instead of this, I programmed the TV set to change channels on its timer in order that I didn't even need to bother with changing the channel myself, by remote control.

I mean the remote was right there but I figured: look it has been a long enough week without me trying to fumble with a remote control in the dark. I was also too lazy to put the lamp on. [Note: need to buy timer for lamp]

One of the shows I set-up was the Mad, Bad Ad Show (C4).

This is how C4 sells it:

Hosted by Mark Dolan, The Mad Bad Ad Show is an ingenious factual entertainment show all based entirely around advertising. It has two teams. One led by Frank Skinner and one by Mark Watson. They are each joined by an advertising industry insider or a figure from business who bring genuine insight into the murky world of marketing. People such as ad director MJ Delaney (Newport State of Mind) marketing guru Trevor Beattie (FCUK) or serial entrepreneur Theo Paphitis.
They'll be there to entertain, but also to explain the methods and tactics behind the adverts, dazzle us with the sneaky techniques they use to flog us their products and amaze us with examples of their craft from across the world and throughout the past 100 years.
OfCom should be called in the morning. This is more misleading than a L'Oreal ad featuring Luscious Long Lashes.

The MBA Show is strangely off-kilter from the start. Presenter, Dolan, sits parallel to the teams, whereby he has to unnaturally shift position to read the auto-cue above the audience as he pretends to talk to the panellists. This is made all the more distracting by his news-reader delivery.

With the team captains taking up most of the chatter between questions (Frank Skinner was replaced by Micky "Ombiounce" Flannigan somewhere along the line), the advertising experts get sparse opportunity to give insight. There are also 3rd team members present, not mentioned in the above pitch. It is telling, therfore, that I am unsure, really, what the 3rd (comedian) team members are to do. They sit on the long sofa not so much as spare parts as, well, sofa furniture. Like fleshy cushions.

The big innovation is that both team captains come to play their own filmed TV advert (for humorous created product) at the end. We get to see them struggle in VT's beforehand with idea clouds and focus groups as they get creative. I suppose that this is the part where the learning of the ad dark arts are revealed and they can work with their experts and we can all be carried along on the journey.

Instead it is a further chance where the team captains get to make some jokes, skipping over any actual expert advice and then put together ads which are so long that they would take a entire slot in the Super Bowl. Highly dubious if the products they were advertising could ever afford the broadcast space anyway, the audience then vote on their favourite.

To fill the rest of the void viewers are treated to a standard panel show. In fact, scratch that. Viewers are treated to what would constitute a round - a single round! - of Noel's Telly Addicts. In fact, scratch that. Viewers are treated to watching a few TV pals over at Mark Dolan's house playing The Logo board game on his improbably long white couch. Where, for confusing reasons, talks to them by staring into the wall with the imitation coal fire on it.

To be honest, it may well be ahead of it's time. Instead of getting a board game at Christmas born from a favourite TV panel quiz, we will end up with panel shows where public figures are playing snakes and ladders. Yes, that'll be the future of TV quiz's right there. Watching Phil Jupitus saying: "was it Professor Plum, in the Library?" And we'd deserve it.

The thing is, the show is totally advertising genius. I hope C4 are pricing astronomical sums for the ad breaks in between the segments. Because there is no doubt that viewers will be no less aware of the adverts than if they were appearing between C4's list show, 100 best TV Ads Ever! and people are expecting Stuart Maconie's top half to appear and talk about when he first saw it: "I had just been out to see The Smiths perform one of their seminal gigs and sneaked in to the family living room, back then you needed to warm up the Televison, so I went to make a sandwich..." Oh why must you go on Stuart Maconie!!

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In other news, and this seems as good a place as any to start the hype - for those not counting there are only 7 more blogs until I hit 100 blogs! A century of blogs will need to have something pretty special to mark the occasion. I am working on it... especially as I have now announced it here.

And if I come up with nothing, I might just upload me playing Halsall Magnetic Travel Ludo.


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