And the slues of Christmas compilation CD adverts onto the TV.
I have to confess - these adverts really irritate me quite a bit.
Here is the advert for Now That's What I Call XMAS! from 2010:
Here is Now That's What I Call XMAS! from 2005:
This is the advert from 2011 for Now That's What I Call XMAS!
Oh - your Christmas album - does it have, you know, the Wham song one? It does! What about John Lennon? And it has the New York one where they verbally abuse each other in a sort Christmassy way half way through? And Wizzard? Does it have, you know, Slade? Does it? Does your Christmas song album feature Slade? Really? Does it?? Slade!! Slade!!!
Yes, every pop Christmas compilation worth its salt I am sure has these on it. By rights they have to be. It goes without saying. Or it should. But apparently it doesn't. Not according to the advertisers, at least. Apparently we need told. The makers of the Now! compilation feel we need told that these stalwart, classics of the genre, songs are on these albums, thereby making them the best to purchase. And they have been telling us every year for the past 15 years. Who in Britain doesn't know that these songs are on this album? I mean it is exactly the same album, every year! They don't even pretend by changing the order of the songs cut into the exact same advert, every year!
Who buys these Christmas compilation CD's anymore? Despite it being named XMAS [but still infuriatingly called "Christmas" on the advert] in order to, I can only imagine, appeal to the youth who don't want to buy a "Christmas" album, I just can't fathom why young people would need to buy it at all, in these modern times. Their parents must have it, for a start. Surely there can only be so many a single household will have. I would love to know the unit sales of Now That's What I Call XMAS!. I would love to see it as a graph over time.
Even your precious Slade sings on the song that is on every compilation of Christmas songs... ever! this:
Does your granny always tell yer/
that the old ones are the best?
And she's up and rock and rollin'/
with the rest!
Slade - you have become the thing you have always hated.
It drives me slightly crazy that Christmas albums are not updated regularly. Wouldn't it be better if an advert included some of the songs which set that particular festive album apart from the others? If we could all agree that the usual favourites being on it was a given and don't need mentioning?
To counter these perennial Christmas songs that not only are on every CD ever made for this holiday, but that are also played on every Radio and depressingly shown on things like VH1 on flickering loop from the 1st December, I have been inspired to post some alternative Christmas songs below which the Now! gang could look to add into next year's compilation album and advert:
Of course, not even this collection can escape having a Crimbo classic in it. Here is Joe Pesci (yes, genuinely) singing in his inimitable (read: foul and offensive) style about his take on the practicalities of Santa getting from A to B. Pesci seems to have forgotton that Santa has flying reindeer for his sleigh but since he wrote a song about this n' all, and seems to be rather a disturbed individual, it is perhaps churlish to bring it up.
Merry Christmas, one and all!
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