You dumped me because you said I was ugly – but look at me now after 2 years of intensive beauty surgery, you fool!

There is a fundamental truth about shows such as the one brought to my attention recently called, “Re-vamped”. Re-vamped, I believe, is a Canadian exported show that has taken a segment piece from the likes of, notably, The Ricki Lake Show and stretched it into a series.

Women, who have been divorced by their husbands because he said they were too fat and ran off with the girl next door or lost interest in the relationship after their young twin girls died [apparently and despairingly genuine for one of the women involved], are taken on a crash course in fitness, diet and burlesque dancing. The women then each perform a strip-tease routine out of some sexy garb in front of their ex-husbands in a club. The forthright message is so loud and clear it might as well be lasered onto the moon out the tips of their tassels by the final over-chair-leg-swing-step-and-lunge flourish: See! You made such a mistake divorcing me!

The only conclusion reasonably invited to be made by the man is: “Yes, well, possibly if you had done a bit more of this while we were married I wouldn’t have become as pre-occupied with the young lady who moved in next door, studying her regular trips to the swimming baths for a discernible pattern. But back then, you ate a lot of cheap pies and thought that dancing for male attention was demeaning of your aspirations of being a successful business woman. There was no hint in the many years of marriage, frankly, of this effort.”

Yeah that’s right! [Snap of fingers top left, snap of fingers middle right, snap of fingers lower left] Look at the mistake you’ve made! You said I was overweight! Well who feels bad now? Go Ricki! Go Ricki! No, wait, I mean – you just been re-vamped! Woo Hoo!

Is this really what empowering means to women? Is this really an acceptable method used to restore self-esteem issues? Isn’t it, well, desperate?

I would have suggested her coming out from behind the blue velvet curtain in the sultry decorated club looking exactly as she did when married (probably, and nothing wrong with it, a little dreary) and simply approaching her ex-husband to say: “Since you divorced me I have got on with my life, improved it in many areas I felt our relationship held me back from and have become happier now than when I was with you. I can only sincerely hope you are even half as content as me.”

But then, women are an odd bunch. An odd, sexy revenge strip dancing bunch.